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~ Reaching Out ~ by Julia Hollenbeck John was fortunate in that he had developed an astonishing ability to draw and by age eight, had found his niche with a pencil, crayon and water paint that enveloped him into a world of art for many years. Later becoming an avid reader, he began reading medical research books and studying the human body. Little did I know, but he was searching for answers to his bizarre mind, while I believed he was studying ways of capturing the human body in forms of art. John was an exceptional person, very sociable, well read, self-educated to a college level, and intellectually advanced, but the fact of the matter was, this intelligent 16-year old adolescent was having to deal with mental instabilities that no one knew existed, anymore than he realized were prevalent. A combination of immaturity, newly found freedom, and the availability of psychedelics, led to John's self-destruction when he began attending college at age 18, and before the end of his second semester was lost to another world. He bounced between Philadelphia, Illinois, California, and Alabama for the next three years, until finally, distraught from his own emotional instability, dysfunctional relationships, and a world of confusion, he attempted to take his life. Fortunately someone found him, rushed him to a hospital, and was later admitted to a psychiatric facility. Nothing could have struck me harder when I learned he was diagnosed with a psychiatric disability, but the fact was his illness was treatable and he returned to Texas. At the end of 1985 John moved to Illinois and a few months later, I moved to Kentucky to be closer with only a 200 mile distance between us. As time went on, John fell deeply in love with a woman he had met in Philadelphia at college, and at the end of 1989 I returned to Texas. My son married, and became the father of a little girl. Over the next several years, John's disability continued to worsen and by the early 1990's, John's art became markedly different than his earlier works. Shortly after a visit to see me in 1993, John suffered a horrific attack that destroyed everything he had ever wanted. After the fact, John's wife expressed her feelings and disclosed that she really believed that she could help him. I understood those same feelings because I too had wanted to help John, but the truth was only John could help himself. Over the years the lack of proper medical treatment caused this attack to be extremely dangerous. Not only did John lose his ability to speak, but he was also not expected to completely recover. He did recover, but it cost him dearly as his wife took their daughter, moved to the East Coast, and later divorced him. After several months, John was released to the care of his father who by then had moved to Indiana. John began the long road to repairing his life and coping with his disability. He slowly accepted the side effects of medications that left him with uncontrollable shaking, mouth drooling, and the inability to draw or read. Eventually, his father moved him into his own apartment. A wise decision, as John needed to be on his own, self sufficient, acceptable to himself, and to society. His father passed away several months later and John found himself again totally alone with only a couple of pretend-to-be friends On December 29th, 2000 at approximately nine o'clock in the morning, the landlord of John's dwelling was attempting to thaw frozen water pipes. During the procedure, the house caught on fire while the landlord went inside the residence to warm himself from the freezing weather. Whether it was intuition or not, John looked outside a window, and saw thick black smoke rising next to the building. He ran outside with a fire extinguisher as he yelled for everyone to get out of the house. Barefoot, his girlfriend, Mary, stood in the snow crying as everything went up in smoke, and a neighbor brought her shoes to put on her feet while John went back inside the burning building to rescue his cat. The two of them found shelter at Mary's parent's home until they were ready to gather their strength and wit, and start over again. When John called me a few days later, he said, "You know, Mom...I kind of look at this as a blessing. The past is behind me now, and I have only the future to plan ahead." I was astonished at his remark and after thinking about it, I knew he was right. In January of 2001, John underwent surgery to remove an extra nerve bundle within his heart to correct a cardiology condition that had worsened over the years. The surgery was successful, but upon his return home, his girlfriend left him. John was again alone and had no one except a single friend to offer him a place to sleep. Eventually, through the assistance of a mental health center that has guided him during the past several years, he was able eventually obtain an unfurnished apartment. Another center donated a couch for him. John will soon be 38 years old. He has lived with a psychiatric disorder for more than half of his life, learned to accept his disability, and the necessity of his medication. He has regained his speech and reading abilities, and is attempting to return to his art endeavors and martial arts. Respectfully, he seeks medical assistance when circumstances make It necessary and continues to overcome the difficulties of this incredible illness even though the struggles are many. As his mother, my most difficult task has been to keep from sheltering him while attempting to provide the emotional support to help him realize two things: He is not alone; He can survive this. Part of the horrific problems of psychiatric disorders is stabilizing the condition with medications to control and treat the illness. The side effects of some of these medications can often be traumatic to the patient. The other problems are the lack of knowledge, acceptance in society, and our laws that govern institutionalization. John spent several weeks in a total of four different hospitals over a period of two years. Physicians would stableize his condition with medications and send him home. He would start feeling better, quit taking the medicine because of side effects, and go off the program believing there was nothing wrong with himself. Eventually he would go back to the ritual of using psychedelics to sedate himself from a world of depression. It was a vicious circle that only John could control. Psychiatric disorders are one of the most difficult disabilities to overcome. Symptoms may go unnoticed for years with people fighting massive states of depression and bewilderment, confused thoughts, and appearing to be locked into their own body chemistry until something triggers development. Trauma, emotional stress, and the use of drugs or narcotics are sometimes factors that may start symptoms. Following the diagnosis of a psychiatric disorder, treatment is pertinent to eliminate the symptoms. The road to recovery can be a long and very difficult struggle coupled with mood changes, depression, and adverse effects to medicine. The later of greater importance because until medication is regulated, the side effects can be immense to certain individuals. In other words, first the person suffering with a psychiatric disorder needs to accept there is a problem, and second want help. This may sound very simple, and indeed it should be, but unfortunately many individuals that suffer with psychiatric disorders do not realize or even know they are ill and consequently, do not typically seek medical help until their symptoms become so bizarre they are forced into it. Psychiatric disorders are one of the most complicated disabilities in our society today. But the fact is they are real disabilities and extremely difficult to overcome. Once a person is diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder, it is pertinent that follow-up visits to physicians continue on an on-going basis because of possible adjustments of medications and physiological evaluations. Within the next few days, John will embark on a journey with me across the United States to visit Washington, DC. It will be the first time in many years that John and I have traveled together. I believe we have everything to gain and nothing to loose. It is his hope that the sharing of our story may benefit others. Julia Hollenbeck - Director of Societal Awareness, CEO Wheel Me On... www.wheelmeon.com Post Office Box 34390 A special note to readers of Wheel Me On
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